Misunderstandings? + Cherishing Friendships.
Sometimes we may be misunderstood in such a way that we choose not to clarify that misunderstanding. When I was younger, I always thought all misunderstandings must be cleared. I cannot stand people’s impression of me being wrongfully negative. But as I grow older, I realize there is no point in certain situations to clear misunderstandings because I would rather the misunderstanding to continue.
Have you ever been placed in such situations before? It would be sensitive to go into details, but all I want to say is that all these takes wisdom and maturity to weigh outcomes with actions. Sometimes, it is really just not worth it to put in effort to clear up polluted air when the polluted air actually helps to create an opague divide which in turn gives back some freedom to self. If this sounds cheem to you, no worries. I’m just musing around. Pls skip to the next paragraph thank you.
I think we need to cherish good friendships too. I have very good pals like Joan, Charmaine and Alethia all the way from Primary school until now, but truthfully speaking we hardly get around meeting one another more than once every 3 months. Now half of us is situated in Brisbane, that makes it even more challenging. I really like the way our friendship is though – we may not meet often (something I am challenged to change lol), but when we do, there is no awkwardness at all. We are able to connect where we left off the previous time. I think that is the mark of strong and true friendship.
I cherish them because we give one another advice, and share our own thoughts and feelings on specific problems troubling us. But I also like to talk with them about God, because we come from diverse Christian backgrounds. Not arguing about our religious differences, but sharing and keeping an eye open to multiple points of view. We all love God and put Him first in our lives no matter what circumstances. I’m not kidding. I think that is important. =)
I also have another group of friends whom I cherish and found in church, and they are Weiling and Miaohua. Here I’m talking about friends that have really opened up to me, and I to them. A one-to-one exchange. We pry each other up. We have really gone in depth, shared personal struggles and thereby receiving encouragement from one another. I know that if ever I struggle with something spiritually deep, to the point that sometimes people outside of church (even if they maybe Christians, or even my best friends too) may not understand, I am able to count on these 2 sisters for prayer and support. They are those who can understand without me fearing that they will get stumbled or when I tell already but they don’t understand what I’m talking about. So if you are reading this, my two wives, I am so thankful to have known you. =)
In short, I cherish my friendships with these few people because I feel edified when I’m around them. They encourage, edify and challenge me with their friendship in the way that strikes me best. Words of affirmation and quality time. They believe in what I believe and they take it as seriously as I do. I’m talking about my faith in God here, which is so crucial.
Another thing to note is that (I believe) none of us will have a group of friends that are perfect. Hence, certain things may be better to consult people in one circle of friends than the other. Yes, your best friends may not understand certain things you are going through. We have to get over the utopical picture that “my best friend should know me 100% inside out!” because that person can only be the Holy Spirit. That is if you’re a Christian.
Having said that, I am not capping my friendship building machine to these 6 important ppl of my life (other than my family members). I am constantly searching for new friendships, new grounds, new horizons. Ahahaha. And I know that when we spend more time together, willing to open up abt many thoughts and feelings, basically doing little things to build this friendship up, I know new friendships that are strong and sincere will emerge. =) There are some potential strong friendships I can foresee around me, and I appreciate every single one of them. Joanne, Michelle, Jaslyn, T3, Young Ji, BX, WL, MX, WLBR gang (Willy, Miguel, Lynn, Cedric and Stephen, EMIL RUSLI). You guys are awesome! =D
But not to forget old friendships that I will always, ALWAYS keep in my heart. My domestic helper aunty (Donna), my seating partner back in Cedar Girls (Siti Suhaila), my cousin and best childhood playmate (Fel Wong), my primary school classmates (from 6BD: ADELINE, JINHAI, EVAN, PENGKY, JINGYI, ALINA, TIAN EN, JANE, SHAWN, ETC!) Just too many to mention from 6BD. Hahaha. Well, looks like I’m one blessed girl!
