Of babblings and musings.

Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity

- 1 Tim 4:12

If you are wondering why I have been keeping silent about my thoughts of multiplication thus far, it is for a myriad of reasons. I’ll try to list it down here in my own thinking space.

1) It is God’s words coming to pass halfway. Yes I have taken an important step towards fulfilling my calling in life, but I still have that entire half more before I can finally say “I have done it”. Or rather: “I have walked with God and found out what it really means to lean on His strength while walking; for courage is moving forward in spite of fear”.

2) It still feels a little surreal. Nothing hits as hard as reality, when you feel the difference. But right now, I have yet to sense that. And therefore in a sense reality has yet to hit me. But is that significant in itself? No. Thus I didn’t really see the point of blogging it out and I feel I’m doing it right now simply for the sake of those who may be curious about what exactly happened and stuff. I really didn’t have to do this. So why am I doing this? Sigh…….

3) Multiplication is not a one man show (I must always remind myself this in future too). So I don’t feel really comfortable with all the “I”s I’d be writing. Which is common in typical blog entries. So while I have my own personal thoughts and feelings, I would love to know even more how the rest are feeling about it. The feelings and thoughts of those people whom we will run the race together from now on. I believe that is more crucial than anything else.

4) I feared. I had my worries and negative imagination of what would come out of this multiplication. And I had to charge myself up with battery (courage and faith) because I have every reason to believe that this multiplication will not work out well. Like we are small, we are young, and we are limited. BUT. It depends on which voice I choose to heed, and the past few days have been a struggle between the 2 voices (sometimes 3 – if you include the voice of self =p ). One thing I know – God never fails even if the going gets tough. It is never Him we should accuse. If anything, He is answer to tough times.

Someone asked me if I’m excited about this whole multiplication. Of course I am. Depends on which part of me you’re asking. My spirit is, yes. But my soul isn’t. My soul is carrying alot of human imperfections. Just like what Veron preached today at leaders’ meeting, the SWORD (Word of God) of the Spirit divides the soul from the spirit. I choose to trust and act according to my spirit, because it is in tune with the Holy Spirit. But not my soul. So maybe those who are asking me that question are in fact more excited than I am! Haha. But it is good, I want positive people like that around me to keep on challenging me.

Last of all, I would like to say a big thank you to all who made this multiplication possible for the youths to rise up - God, Victor, JJ, Vic Zone peeps. We will not despise our youths nor our small beginnings.  Zechariah 4:10

“For who has despised the day of small things?
      For these seven rejoice to see
      The plumb line in the hand of Zerubbabel.
      They are the eyes of the LORD,
      Which scan to and fro throughout the whole earth.”

May we be Davids that slay Goliaths.